Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Insularity and Indecision

Last week the mysterious-but-invaluable playwright and blogger 99 Seats put up a post about the insularity of the American theater, to which I was moved to reply, and 99 responded to my comment, and now there's a nice conversation going on over there... you should go check it out.

And maybe, too, you can take my comment there as a partial explanation of why I haven't been blogging as much lately. Because, as I wrote, I'm feeling a little conflicted right now, in this post-college period. There's the part of me that says "If I want to be a playwright, I should be reading tons and writing tons and seeing tons of plays and making connections and blogging about everything so that I don't forget what I have learned." And there's the other part of me who sees that desire to retreat into art, into the aesthetic life, as seductive but ultimately pernicious. That part of me says "Go out! Live! Do! Play softball, have some conversations with people who have never heard of Sondheim, absorb the American vernacular, and don't constantly be thinking about your goals and ambitions, because that will only make you unhappy!"

To have two strong but fundamentally opposed desires, like this--combined with the panicked realization that time is passing by, summer is over, you've held down a full-time job for eleven months but still haven't figured out what it is to have "work-life balance"--is rather paralyzing. So, in the meantime, my blog languishes.

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