Things You Find on the Upper East Side That You Don't Find in San Francisco

• Tulips
• Men who hold the door for you 
• Twenty-something guys who wear loafers and tucked-in polo shirts
• Preppy nicknames (I went to brunch yesterday with a Scottie and a Wooley, among others)
• Hipster-looking men who make the sign of the cross in public
• Conversations about having to take Latin in school
• Drugstores where everything except the (exorbitant) prices seems to have been frozen in time in the 1980s or earlier
• Lots of off-leash, purebred dogs
• Park benches that you can lie down on
• Women in black pencil skirts and stilettos, smoking cigarettes as they stride down the sidewalk
• A man in a double-breasted blazer, carrying a bowler hat and a trench coat and a little white lapdog in a dog carrier, who stops by your brunch table and informs you that the dog is named "Ellie" after a prep-school classmate of his daughter's, who also happens to be at your brunch table (this is probably the most surreally UES thing to happen to me yesterday, especially as I was jetlagged)